THE BOWERY’S NEW MUSEUM SONG
by Christopher Mason
Performed at gala for Museum trustees and million dollar donors to inaugurate the new building of the New Museum, Bowery, New York, November 2008.
(to “The Bowery Song”)
If you go down to the Bowery now,
Be prepared for a mighty WOW!
Formerly famous for gritty slums,
Known for its picturesque Bowery bums;
Now, with this marvel of silvery mesh,
This tired old street’s looking young and fresh!
Stacked steel boxes where crud once stood;
Ah – there goes the neighborhood!
The Bowery! The Bowery!
Once lost and lamented,
It’s now reinvented,
The Bowery! The Bowery!
With the gleam of this dazzling museum.
Now that it’s here, there’s no turning back,
Brace for an onslaught of Prada black!
Watch how the art world will now bombard,
Eagerly seeking the avant garde;
Sejima and Nishizawa’s plan
Sprang to life from remote Japan;
The building’s a triumph, and praise is due:
All of it’s here thanks to you!
(to “You Took Advantage of Me”)
This took great vision, this took guts,
Consultants said, at first, you’re nuts,
You’ll never shill for eleven mil’
And boy, you sure proved them wrong!
But it required – oh praise the lord –
A very strong, courageous board;
The dream was bold
But you struck gold
And you certainly proved them wrong!
First the goal was set at 35,
Ambitious, that’s for sure,
By the time the campaign ended, ouch!!
It cost a whole lot more!
A rational man, Saul Dennison
Was not convinced it could be done,
But on a roll to meet that goal
He somehow made it seem fun.
(to “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off”)
When Charles Lazurus recruited Naomi,
She talked tough – no baloney;
She got you scared,
Said be prepared,
You’re in for quite a ride!
She told the board, don’t scoff,
“You gotta give, or get, or get off”
She was blunt,
So up-front,
And yet, despite the heft,
Not one board member left!
Toby Lewis got the ball rolling
And her challenge was kind of cajoling,
The board was smitten,
Checks were written,
The campaign grew and grew;
The city council gave it a spike,
There was lots to like from Mayor Mike,
Then like a gift from heaven,
Commissioner Kate Levin
Helped city funds accrue
To make this dream come true.
(to “Doing It For Some Doll”)
Then a wondrous gift
Gave the project a lift:
Warren, Mitzi, Leonard, Susan all waved a wand;
Twas a marvelous double-billed thing,
Their two families named the building
With a gift that was Big, Bold and, yes, Beyond!
Let us all praise please –
They named main galleries –
Eugenio Lopez, Maja Hoffman, Dakis Jouanno.
And Pauline Karpidas
Wrote a check that guaranteed us
A floor for education, Brava to you!
Marcia Tucker Hall, it is writ on the wall
Is the Luce Foundation and Allen Goldring’s gift
And the theater deserves an ovation
For the Peter Sharp Foundation
Who, when asked for support, were enthused and swift
The audacious dream
For the new New Museum,
Of presenting the best of what’s new and next
Is a mission that’s inspiring,
That folks cannot help admiring,
Which sure helps when
You’re asking your friends for checks!
Oh, the stakes were high
And you reached for the sky
The challenge was awesome, and that’s the truth
Though last week there was elation
When the Keith Haring Foundation
Gave a grant for schools and youth
(to “That’s Why the Lady Is a Tramp”)
And Skadden Arps gave legal advice
Thanks to Paul Schnell, all free, that’s nice!
If not for Skadden’s years of being so sweet
You might still be on Hudson Street!
Paul lent his boardroom, where the view inspires awe;
The board said “yes!” each time when asked to give more!
Your sheer endurance was put to the test
(to “That’s Entertainment”)
Thirty-five, the first budget rose
Forty-five kept the board on its toes
They weren’t thrilled,
But they all longed to build
The New Museum
Price of steel hit historical highs
Once again it was time to revise
64 had you popping your eyes
For the New Museum
Such relief now the campaign’s complete
And lord knows, that victory’s sweet
Look around,
This New Museum
The grand total you’ve raised is 74
Congratulations!